For the first time, tonight....I cried.
I cried because the reality is beginning to set in. I'm leaving. Leaving in 9 days to travel around the globe to share His love and glorify His name. Across the ocean to a foreign land. Separated by 6,780 miles from my sweet husband and my beautiful boys who I love with all my heart and soul.
Maybe I had convinced myself that it was going to be easier this time. You know, I'm a pro at this, right? Not hardly. Butterflies reside in my stomach and the tears that fell hit very hard. They came unexpectedly, yet came nonetheless.
However, in the midst of my slight uncertainty, I'm assured in His Word that I shouldn't be afraid. I shouldn't fear. I shouldn't fret.
"Do not fear, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; Surely, I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
My assurance doesn't come in the plane, or the pilot, or the constant reminders that "people do this everyday!" My assurance comes from Jesus and I'm resting in that. Solidly with two firm feet, planted in His love and mercy.
I know that whatever may come, will come. Good or Good. As hard as it is to say, both outcomes are good. No matter what.
David Platt's words are also ring in my ears, as I step out in faith...“Radical obedience to Christ is not easy... It's not comfort in this world. Radical obedience to Christ risks losing all. But in the end, such risk finds its reward in Christ. And he is more than enough for us.”
So, tonight....I will remind myself of WHO I'm leaving everything for, WHO I will be exhausting, and WHO has given His life for me. He is my reward and that IS enough.
Maybe I was kidding myself, but as I close my eyes, I vividly see the sweet faces that await me.
And oh, how I long to be there once again.........
And I will be very soon.
I cried because the reality is beginning to set in. I'm leaving. Leaving in 9 days to travel around the globe to share His love and glorify His name. Across the ocean to a foreign land. Separated by 6,780 miles from my sweet husband and my beautiful boys who I love with all my heart and soul.
Maybe I had convinced myself that it was going to be easier this time. You know, I'm a pro at this, right? Not hardly. Butterflies reside in my stomach and the tears that fell hit very hard. They came unexpectedly, yet came nonetheless.
However, in the midst of my slight uncertainty, I'm assured in His Word that I shouldn't be afraid. I shouldn't fear. I shouldn't fret.
"Do not fear, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; Surely, I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10
My assurance doesn't come in the plane, or the pilot, or the constant reminders that "people do this everyday!" My assurance comes from Jesus and I'm resting in that. Solidly with two firm feet, planted in His love and mercy.
I know that whatever may come, will come. Good or Good. As hard as it is to say, both outcomes are good. No matter what.
David Platt's words are also ring in my ears, as I step out in faith...“Radical obedience to Christ is not easy... It's not comfort in this world. Radical obedience to Christ risks losing all. But in the end, such risk finds its reward in Christ. And he is more than enough for us.”
So, tonight....I will remind myself of WHO I'm leaving everything for, WHO I will be exhausting, and WHO has given His life for me. He is my reward and that IS enough.
Maybe I was kidding myself, but as I close my eyes, I vividly see the sweet faces that await me.
And oh, how I long to be there once again.........
And I will be very soon.
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8 comments:
Have you ever heard of the "Seeds" family worship cds?
The verse you quoted is a verse they set to a beautiful tune. I sing it all the time! LOVE those words.
I think the site is seedsfamilyworship.org
Anyway, you will be blessed with the cds, as will your children!!!
Praying your travels bring Glory to His holy and precious name! Share the Good News sister!
I love your heart...it will be a great trip! I am praying for you. Can't wait to hear about all the wonderful things you will experience!
You are inspiring!! I would be filled with butterflies too but you are right! You are going to be doing wonderful things and serving our LORD who will bless you for it!
Prayers for safe travel and an amazing journey!
Of course you are going to experience all those emotions, it's only human. However, the fact that you aren't letting those feelings keep you from going, is what makes you obedient. AND BLESSED. I will miss you! But cannot wait to hear the stories and of course, see all the pics ;) I will be praying....
Love you and your heart sweet friend. Prayers now, and while you are away too.
Yes, you are going to miss those little boys like crazy... however you are doing a wonderful thing. Whoever said listening to God would keep us comfortable?
Even if you had been 100 times it would still be just as hard to leave your beloved family. Thank you for trusting him in allowing you to be His hands and feet. God's blessings are endless.
So excited for you! I can't wait to hear your stories and see your pictures when you get home! Blessings to you!
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